Linderville

Ah...the times they are a changing!!

My husband and I just celebrated our ten year anniversary. Madison turned nine and everything has been one change after another since then. She is turning into the proverbial "tween". I mean I knew it was coming, I just had no idea that it would get here so soon. She wants to pick out her own clothes, be with her friends instead of Will and me, the smart mouth has started, and then of course all those other "fun" things that begin to happen at this age are just around the corner. The posters are already covering her walls (albeit mostly Disney kids) and her own taste in music is definitely starting to develop.

I've read several blogs from other mothers that have either already dealt with this or are in the midst of dealing with it and although it makes me feel better for a bit, it doesn't take away the sting that, "Oh my goodness, my daughter is growing up, when did that happen?"

Don't get me wrong, she has completely gone to the dark side yet, but I can feel the force. It's hiding in the dark corners of my house just waiting. To go completely with the Star Wars theme, I wish I knew right now what I could use for my light saber. (Did I even spell that right? I just realized that I'd never seen that in print). I, like every other parent, just don't want her growing up so fast.

The things I won't do for a good book...especially when it's free!!

About the book (from the author's own website)

Laurel Gray Hawthorne needs to make things pretty, whether she's helping her mother make sure the very literal family skeleton stays buried or turning scraps of fabric into nationally acclaimed art quilts. Her estranged sister Thalia, an impoverished Actress with a capital A, is her polar opposite, priding herself on exposing the lurid truth lurking behind middle class niceties. While Laurel's life seems neat and on track--a passionate marriage, a treasured daughter, and a lovely home in suburban Victorianna--everything she holds dear is suddenly thrown into question the night she is visited by the ghost of a her 14-year old neighbor Molly Dufresne.

 

The ghost leads Laurel to the real Molly floating lifelessly in the Hawthorne's backyard pool. Molly's death is inexplicable--an unseemly mystery Laurel knows no one in her whitewashed neighborhood is up to solving. Only her wayward, unpredictable sister is right for the task, but calling in a favor from Thalia is like walking straight into a frying pan protected only by Crisco. Enlisting Thalia's help, Laurel sets out on a life-altering journey that triggers startling revelations about her family's guarded past, the true state of her marriage, and the girl who stopped swimming.

That sounds so good that I want to go out and buy it instead of waiting to see if I win, but I'll wait. :(.  I'm in need of a good book at the moment.  I'm kind of in a rut and want so desperately to get out of it.  We shall see!!

Where does the time go?

Between the after school activities, a new job and the holidays, I haven't been on here on months.  I did so very well at the beginning of keeping it current and honestly feel horrible about it. 

Today is a new day though and I'm going to give it a go again.

I started a new job in October and it has been a good change for our lives.  I started working in the Superintendent's Office of the school district that Madison attends.  I work for the Director of Instructional Support (or the Director of Special Education).  After working for over 7 years for attorneys, this is definitely a change of pace.

Madison loves the fact that I am one building over and I am taking advantage of that because as we all know she won't want me in the same town at the same time she is in a few years. 

I coached Madison's soccer team this past fall and what a time that was.  I really enjoyed myself.  7 and 8 year old girls are quite entertaining.  I'm thinking of even doing it again this year.

The holidays came and went and it was the first year that I didn't send out Christmas cards.  I'm hoping to remedy that by sending out some sort of newsletter complete with pictures.

It feels that there is always so much going on, but that's life I guess.  Births, weddings, anniversaries (not that I have a big one this year or anything :)

Hopefully I can keep this thing up to date a little better this year.  We'll see.

First Day of School (Third Grade)

Well it's the first day of school for Madison.  I'm still not exactly sure what happened to the summer, but it's pretty much gone.  We ended it with a bang with some friends over lobster (we are in Maine :)). 

Anyway, its 5 in the morning and I'm already wanting to put the coffee on, but I'd better let Will sleep a little longer.  Unfortunately for him Madison got the I get up at the buttcrack of dawn gene from me.

I heard her get up earlier (really should have thought about having our room near the bathroom when we bought our house), and I know she's up in her room right now with all kinds of the same feelings that I'm having right now.

She's nervous, excited, and anxious, as I am, but both of us for different reasons.  I had a love/hate relationship with school.  I loved it because it provided me an escape from a lot of not so good things going on in my life.  I also loved learning new things and still do.  I could be a professional student if only someone else would pay the bills.  I didn't the people at school.  Everyone seemed to fit into some sort of little group and I never did.  Sure I made good grades, but I was no prodigy.  I had a few friends here and there, but not the way most people look back at school and remember.  I know part of the reason was that I went to so many schools I've lost count. 

So I'm nervous and anxious about school starting today for Madison.  But for me its because I never want her to have any of the feelings that I did for school.  At least none of the bad ones.  It's hard to protect your child from something you have no control over, and that bugs me the most.

Wednesday...

So its almost 10 pm and I'm so very hungry.  I've not eaten dinner yet because I have sewing classes on Wednesday nights and I couldn't stop to get anything to eat.  Quite the eye opener. 

My dinner this evening will be shepherds pie that Jessica made from some of our pooled ingredients.  It's in the oven at this very moment.

I have to say that so far this has been quite the challenge.  One thing that I am quite embarrassed about is how little I pay attention anymore at the grocery store.  My attitude about it has become quite lacadaisical.  I basically go in with my list (when I don't leave it on the kitchen table) and just get what I want.  Notice I didn't say get what I need.  That's another thing I've reminded myself of this week.  I don't always "need" to get some of the things that I do.  I mean I believe I'm somewhat careful in what I buy, just forgetful of the manner in which its done most of the time.

I've forgotten that not everyone that goes into the grocery store has that luxury.  I certainly don't mean just the people who receive food stamps either.  Anyone on a fixed budget, whether its a single parent, the elderly or students.

How quick it is to forget the weeks of a different hamburger helper every night.  I really believe that after this week, I will be taking a whole new outlook on how I shop.

Now I've got to go and eat...

Tuesday...

So Monday, I ate grits for breakfast.  For lunch it was peanut butter and jelly sandwich and then for dinner I had egg salad.  You know, just eggs and mayo.

Yesterday, it was grits again along with peanut butter and jelly yet again for lunch.  For dinner I turned it up a notch and had beans and rice, which I suspect I'll be having for lunch today.

I've had nothing to drink but water and coffee (we are allowed only to have it at work if our office provides it, which thankfully ours does, otherwise I'd be even more a raving lunatic than I am).

Jessica and I only have 9 meals left.  I can and can't imagine doing this on a daily basis all the time.

Monday of Hunger Week 2007

So our list of groceries for the week looks something like this:

Items we are sharing:

Tuna                 $2.00

Peanut Butter    $1.69

Jelly                  $1.50

Mayo               $2.00

Corn                $0.60

Chips               $1.00

Bread               $2.50

Potato              $0.99

Hamburger       $3.09

                        $15.37, so divided by 2 is $7.68

My list:                                                                        

Grits                 $1.89                                                               

Beans               $0.99

Rice                 $0.99

Eggs                 $1.89

                        $5.76

Jessica’s list:

Cereal              $1.19

Spaghetti          $1.00

Sauce               $1.00

Milk                 $2.89

Lemonade        $1.00

                        $7.08

Together we have about $1.80 left between us.  We’ve gotten through 2 meals and have 13 to go.  I know for me its going to be hardest at night after dinner time, when I usually pick at things around the kitchen.

I can definitely see how children who rely on food stamps have obesity problems.  You just cannot afford fresh fruits and vegetables.  Of course this is not the only reason, but I really think it contributes.

I also know that this program is supposed to only be a supplement and not pay for food entirely for a family, but with single parents and elderly who are already stretched so thin with daycare and medication, its no wonder why they have to rely entirely on the food stamp program.

I’ll be back in the morning to let you know how the night went.

Hunger Week 2007

So there was this challenge issued at work after a few people read articles and saw news reports about Hunger Week in other states such as Oregon.  The governor of Oregon has made one week every year since he took office, a Hunger Awareness Week.  Hunger Week Governor of Oregon

So, a few people in my office are up for the challenge.  We have to live off of what the average person in the State of Maine who receives food stamps actually receives.  Here in Maine that comes to a whopping $2.89 a day.  For argument sake, it was rounded up to $3.00.

We have to start as though we have nothing in our pantries and manage for 5 days.  We can pool our money with someone else who is doing the challenge if we want.  I have pooled with my friend Jessica and as of right now we still need to run the numbers, but I believe we have our items purchased and are ready to begin tomorrow.

I'll be posting our grocery lists and costs on here to keep you apprised of our progress. 

Our daughter the poet

Nature in the World

By: Madison Miller

Nature in the world is so sweet and neat.

And if you listen closely you can feel the beat.

I follow my footsteps all the time.

But then they just turn into a crime.

I look out the window and what do I see.

I see a buzzing bee floating away free.

I always stay inside and now that’s not right.

I need to go outside and get a good sight.

When I go to music I learn such good songs.

Then I go outside and then the animals sing along.

There were cute little pictures at the bottom of her page with her poem.  I tried to scan it and show it here but I can't get it to work.

I'm still so amazed at this.  I know most of it is just being a proud mother, but hey that's what I'm here for.

Mother's Day

I've been reading since about Friday all things Mother's Day, obviously since it's today.  But for me it's probably the first Mother's Day that I've really thought about it in different terms.

I mean it's no news flash to anyone who knows me that my mother and I have not always been close.  We didn't have a major fight at any one point in our lives or anything, just circumstances, both in and beyond our control.  That relationship is getting better as we both get older, as most of those mother/daughter relationships do.  And I'm ever so grateful that we're both here to work on it.

What I've really been thinking about a lot today though is those times I do complain to my friends or something about my mother or about Madison.  And what I forget about are those people who either don't have their mothers with them anymore to "complain" about or those around me who haven't had the great joy of having a child to become a mother.  I forget that this may be a sad weekend for them.  Those who so deperately miss their mothers and those who have tried everything under the sun to become one.

So I pledged that today those friends and family that I know would be in my thoughts as well today, hoping that a little of that will help them get through today a little better.  I've cherished every moment that Madison wanted to spend with me today (because we all know it's becoming her choice and not mine :) ).  Even if sitting outside to read with snacks only lasted 10 minutes because it was not fun to read with the sun in your eyes Mommy.

I am learning more and more every day just how lucky I am to be a mom.